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Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There\'s also a negative side
I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
We don\'t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
I\'m trying to see things from your point of view but I can\'t get my head that far up my ass.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
Hanlon\'s Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
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Love is the answer - but while you\'re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don\'t know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that\'s my position.
Machine. Unexpectedly, I\'d invented a time
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I\'ll waste no time reading it.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
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Pardon him, Theodotus; he is a barbarian, and thinks that the customs of his tribe and island are the laws of nature.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, \'Don\'t you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?\' I said \'I didn\'t know there were any witnesses. Now I\'ll have to kill you too\'.
Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is \'to be prepared\'.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
Wise men make proverbs, but fools repeat them.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
If women didn\'t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
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Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
I\'ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn\'t it.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
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I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they\'re yours.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She\'s 97 today and we don\'t know where she is!
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you\'ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn\'t your biggest problem.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up and he said \'You\'ve been promoted\'. And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said \'You\'ve been promoted again\'. And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said \'You\'re managing director.\' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said \'What happened to you?\' And I Said \'I careered off the road.\'
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Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
I don\'t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
I am not young enough to know everything.
The graveyards are full of indispensable men.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You\'d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
A physicist is an atom\'s way of knowing about atoms.
The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She\'s 97 today and we don\'t know where she is!
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
I\'ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
A [pseudo]random number generator is much like sex: when it\'s good it\'s wonderful, and when it\'s bad it\'s still pretty good.
I am not young enough to know everything.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
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Why don\'t you write books people can read?
C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
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A man\'s only as old as the woman he feels.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I\'ve only ever had one.
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If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.
I\'m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
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I don\'t know why we are here, but I\'m pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
Don\'t be so humble - you are not that great.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
They laughed when I said I\'d be a comedian. They aren\'t laughing now.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
I have not failed. I\'ve just found 10,000 ways that won\'t work.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
Always go to other people\'s funerals, otherwise they won\'t come to yours.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
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I have four children which is not bad considering I\'m not a Catholic.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
Fill the unforgiving minute with sixty seconds worth of distance run.
Raymond\'s Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
Everybody\'s worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there\'s a really easy way: stop participating in it.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Jesus may love you, but I think you\'re garbage wrapped in skin.
I\'m Jewish. I don\'t work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He would have put diamonds on the floor.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
To err is human -- and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
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I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse\'s family too.
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
It\'s dangerous to underestimate the intelligence of a customer who grew a business that\'s successful enough to require a large and complex set of software
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
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Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.
I\'m not a member of any organized political party, I\'m a Democrat!
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
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They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
Marry me and I\'ll never look at another horse!
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
Louis Pasteur\'s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he\'ll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn\'t over until everyone gets their cookies.
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
Devlin\'s First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin\'s Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She\'s 97 today and we don\'t know where she is!
Hyzaar and canesten oral drug interaction
I\'m not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy.
I\'m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Smith & Wesson ? the original point and click interface.
What to do if too much dilantin is taken
The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
Ah, you know the type. They like to blame it all on the Jews or the Blacks, \'cause if they couldn\'t, they\'d have to wake up to the fact that life\'s one big, scary, glorious, complex and ultimately unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can\'t seem to keep up is they\'re a bunch of misfits and losers.
Those are my principles. If you don\'t like them I have others.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
Http://recherchebonnetnoir.free.fr/wiki/index.php?title=eriacta
They couldn\'t hit an elephant at this dist--
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.
I\'m not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It\'s just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, she said \'no\'.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: \'Can I help, sir?\' \'No thanks,\' says the blind bloke. \'Just looking.\'
I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.
If you can read this you\'re not aiming in the right direction.
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/27/(Fri) 07:59
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